I guess I should start this blog with a brief history of how I got to be where I am today, an outspoken, outrageous, and admittedly insane, single mommy of two little devils angels. And so the story goes…..
Once upon a time, a time about 25, (or so) years ago, a little girl was born on Grey Cup Sunday to two extremely proud parents. This little girl was a miracle to her parents, who were told they would never be able give birth to a child. Having adopted another little girl three years earlier, they were shocked when their adopted daughters request for a “baby brother” from christmas amazingly came true, well sort of. The other daughter, although happy to have a playmate, was expecting a little “brother” not a little “sister“, she was disappointed, but she made due with what she was given, and the two generally got on well.
Raised in the city, and later (despite her contention) moved to a smaller town, this little girl grew up with big dreams. She would be famous, she would sing, dance, write, and, of course, be rich. She would travel the world, meet prince charming, and live happily-ever-after. There was no clause in this dream that included children, no vision of runny noses, teary eyes, puke splattered blouses, or overflowing diaper pails. No, Life was set to be perfect. This little girl lived in a fairytale world, until one day the storm of reality suddenly hit. WTF happened to the fairy tale?
I’ll spare all the gruesome details, but needless to say her dreams were hogwash. (Yes, I just used the word hogwash as a grown adult, that is not a cast member of Harry Potter, or an eighty-year-old granny type, yelling at small children.) But hogwash they were….
There was no fame, unless you count the less than appealing fans at the local karaoke dive bar. There was no fortune, certainly there was no fortune, and there was no prince charming… there was instead many losers in shining tin-foil, tears, fights, and a whole lot of bad choices.
This is how I got where I am today…. and all the glam and glory that comes along with it.
I am an uncoventional parent, some may call me naive, I am the ‘sit back and see what happens’ kind of parent… not only due to my lack of participation, but more because I have this strange belief that children, if left to their own devices, will make the right choices. (Of course I highly suggest that before you “sit back and see what happens” you take the time to think of every possible “what’s the worst that could happen” scenario, no matter how implausible it may seem. For some reason children are far more creative when it comes to disaster than we give them credit for.)
I don’t pretend to be a perfect mother, in fact I have done many things that other “perfect” mothers would surely shake their heads at, things that would have them grabbing up their children and running for their pristine, suburban homes. Sometimes, in my house we have dessert for breakfast, or dinner or even lunch. I have allowed my child to drink cola *gasp*, and I order pizza on a semi-regular basis. I have forgotten breakfast once or twice, and I am not well-known for my cooking abilities. My house is NOT immaculate, there are dishes in the sink, dust bunnies under the couch, and toys on the floor. (Although I believe it is a generally clean and safe environment.) I do not always get my son to school on time, and there have even been occasions where I did not get him to school at all. I do not seek out, and spend, excessive amounts of money on “organic” products, or use “all-natural” healing methods, when my children are sick I give them Advil, and I thank God for the few moments of peace the doped up state provides me. My children get dirty, and sometimes go to bed that way, but more often than not they are happy, they are healthy, and they are safe. To me that is all that parenting is about, if you disagree, well go ahead and chase your child around with a bottle of Lysol, it’s your legs, and mind, that suffer not mine!
There are times, for me, when being a single mother of two is a lot like watching a train wreck…. in slow motion, over and over again…. especially when you have the amazing ability that I have to do all the wrong things, or right things, at the wrong time.
The truth is I dislike children! Sure I have two of my own that I love, but all other children go immediately on the “dislike list” until further examination. The “like list” (which is just another form of the “dislike list”) is reserved for my own children, those that are part of my immediate family…. and a select group of others that have been subjected to a delicate, detailed process of in-depth analysis. The “dislike list” is longer by far!
But as I said before I love my children, and despite the fact that my 7 year-old ‘C’ has bad table manners, poor hygiene, cries at the drop of a hat, and shoots strangers with his super spy gun, he is great. And although 9 month-old ‘L’ doesn’t sleep, eat, stay still, stay quiet, or stop crying she is beautiful and amazing, and I would do anything I could to make them happy, even though it often feels like they do everything they can to make me unhappy… I am sure they don’t mean to do it on purpose…. even I could not raise such evil children as that I am sure.
Still, we have fun, and even with peanut butter sandwich dinners, and long sleepless nights, we are happy, healthy and generally sane. And so, although my Fairy Tale life was shattered once-upon-a-time, long-long-ago, my new reality is being created everyday, in the most unconventional, and interesting ways.
Possibly, But Probably Un-Related Articles
- Single Parenting: Six Ways To Soar While Flying Solo (momblognetwork.com)
- Deconstructing Coraline (Part One) (stirrup-queens.com)
- Other People’s Kids (parenting.blogs.nytimes.com)
Dilemmas of the Undomesticated 